Toby Keith, 1961-2024
Remembering the Country music legend
I only met Toby Keith once, but he was one of the only contemporary country music superstars whose music I knew and loved. His 2003 duet with Willie Nelson, “Beer For My Horses” is as great a drinking song as has been written in this century, with a memorable chanted hook that lingers in your mind long after the tankards are empty. His songs were upbeat and funny, but there was a melancholy quality to them, filled with bittersweet regret about life choices and the road not taken, a longing for a simpler existence: “I Should Have Been a Cowboy.”
I love the way he explored the alcoholic culture in songs like “Whisky Girl,” “I Love This Bar” and “Get Drunk and Be Somebody,” - he viewed the world of drinking and drunks from the perspective of an insider, but at the same time with an ironic detachment. In his later songs, he reflected movingly on the aging process in songs like “Don’t Let the Old Man In” and “As Good as I Once Was.” As he put it in another song, “‘Start living,’ that’s the next thing on my list.” In fact, his music seemed to grow more profound as he got older.
In 2017 there was a massive tribute to Jimmy Webb; I hosted a Q&A with the great songwriter at one of the last remaining big brick-and-mortar bookstores (was it a Barnes & Noble?) - and there was a giant celebratory concert at Carnegie Hall. Toby Keith was on the bill, along with major stars of pop, rock, country, soul music, folk, and even musical theater: Judy Collins, Art Garfunkel, Amy Grant, Dwight Yoakam, Graham Nash, and even Michael Douglas.
Afterwards, there was a post-concert party at City Winery, and most of those marquee names were there. I was trying not to be starstruck, but this was a good excuse for one of my standard lines in this kind of a situation: “I’m the only person here that I never heard of.”
So there I was trying to be cool, I’m proceeding cautiously, the room was so packed with celebrities that it was literally impossible to move in any direction. Moving slowly, I took a step backwards, and I bumped into something or someone. The two of us turned around slowly - it was almost like a scene in a western movie - and there we were, standing face to face, Toby Keith and I.
Toby Keith always looked like he was at least seven feet tall, with his impressive boots and ten-gallon cowboy hat. But I’m 6’ 1”, and when we turned around, we were literally eye-to-eye, and nose-to-nose - and our two noses were only about three inches apart. Later, I found out that we were both almost exactly the same age, born a few months apart in 1961.
I’m looking at him with his amazing hat and boots, he’s looking at me with my signature Daddy Warbucks look: shaved head and bow tie. He’s probably wondering what the heck to say, but somehow I knew exactly what to say. It’s almost as if I had been thinking for years about what I wanted to say to Toby Keith if I ever was fortunate enough to back into him at City Winery.
“I think ‘Rum is the Reason’ is the greatest song ever written,” said I.
He responded, “You’re kidding!”
Actually, I wasn’t kidding - I was exaggerating slightly for dramatic effect, but not kidding. I do think it’s a great song. It’s well-crafted and funny but also sad. Like Yip Harburg and Harold Arlen’s “Napoleon” it takes the most imposing and even feared figures in history and trivializes them, Stalin calling for a vodka martini, old Hitler eating sauerkraut and weenies. I was kind of shocked that “Rum is the Reason” isn’t even widely considered one of his best songs - it’s not on the Apple Music “Toby Keith Essentials” playlist. This is a Toby Keith drinking song writ extra large, make that epically large, literally viewing all human achievement through the lens of the bottom of a glass. And it’s the only song ever to offer a comprehensive explanation as to precisely why pirates never ruled the world. If you’ve ever loved anyone with a substance problem - and that’s all of us - it will make you laugh and cry at the same time.
I don’t remember what Toby Keith and I talked about on that night seven years ago, but I do remember that I was able to leave him secure in the knowledge that there was at least one bald guy in Upper Manhattan who loved his music very much. To this day, I’m still “raising my glass against evil forces,” and I’ll keep doing so long after everyone else has gone home to sleep it off.
Below, just a few of my favorite Toby Keith songs on youTube, and Stephen Colbert’s heartfelt tribute to him:
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